Some recent conversations birthed today's topic. The most recent - a dear colleague and friend of ours who relocated in search of better life lamented about work demands, family life, work-family-life balance, bills upon bills, soaring cost of living, barrage of extended family responsibilities and requests. She emphasised how she has had to be working at least double jobs to stay afloat. She joked that she would happily accept to be 4 years old again.
Also, a younger friend of ours has always thrown the banter - "come and collect your adulthood, it's too hard". This guy is doing well on multiple fronts, but shocked with the expectations that come with adulthood. Last example happened in our house. Our older son who can't wait to become a teenager and be taller than his daddy suddenly decided that he would rather remain a child forever. His reason crashed us. He doesn't envy adults, because our lives are boring. Work work, study study, cook, cook, cook, school runs, minding the children. The responsibilities are too many. Next thing was he asked for iced cream and picked up the TV remote. Easy life! Yeah, I took time to explain a few important concepts and the cycle of life to him and we agreed that adulthood mightn't be as dreadful after all.
I have observed that many single adults (especially males) are shying away from getting married because they are afraid of the additional responsibilities that come with starting a family. Economic challenges and the hassles that middle-aged adults go through actually make adulthood a stage that children and teenagers should be thoroughly prepared for.
Dear children, teenagers and young adults, please enjoy your life but be deliberate in preparing for adulthood. Don’t run into premarital relationships until you are near ready for marriage. Dear bachelor, don't run away from marriage. If you get it right, the exponential power of marital bliss far outweighs the demands that come with it. However, please be intentional in being a good husband and servant leader. Being the head of a family is one of the toughest but most rewarding jobs of your life. Be teachable, tolerant, team player, work hard. You can do it, don't be afraid. Please don't give in to social pressures; otherwise you may never enjoy your life. There are always going to be more social pressures. Dear spinster, if you haven't, please bin the opinion that spinsters can't buy cars, acquire or build properties and businesses. Live your life within God's will and the right man will pop up along the way - at God's time. Take jealous care of your body; learn how to be a good wife. Pregnancy and childbearing will have their tolls on this “faultless” body of yours. But with doable fitness and lifestyle precautions, you may have your “faultless” shape before your youngest child turns 5.
Dear young couples, young and middle-aged parents, aunties and uncles - well-done plenty. For some, adulthood may appear as bait or trap or both. I can't say that you are wrong. But can I plead that you pause and reflect on few decisions, priorities and patterns? For many people, adulthood is complicated primarily because they are not getting some things right. Marital decision is the most consequential in this regard. In addition, be aware of the rhythm that works for your home and align yourselves to it. Master child spacing and opt for an effective family planning method. Carefully look after your health - physical, physiological, mental, emotional, economic and spiritual. Live together and be contented without settling for mediocrity. Learn from others but ultimately ensure that you run your own race. One more thing, be humble enough to give frequent shout outs to your parents. Now you must be wondering how they coped with life, family and work/business. Thank them often and draw encouragement from them. You too will arrive at Uhuru, by God's grace.
Selah!
© SELAH SERIES 2022
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