Parenting is perhaps the most decisive role anyone can ever think of. Every little detail counts for something to the young ones, and whether we are careful enough to admit it or not, we are shaping destinies. And although parenting is primarily the job of the biological parents and a child's immediate family, all agents of socialisation around the child are also important - school, neighbourhood, church, etc. So, how are we shaping them, who & what are we building and what can we improve upon? Let's continue from yesterday's discourse.

4. Give your children a voice: Boost their assertiveness

Gone are the days when parents teach their children not to question erring elders or defend themselves from trespassing adults. Our world has gone bizarre and our children need to stand up for themselves so they won’t be victims of life’s unfairness.

Let’s teach our children confident body language – holding head and chin up, making eye contact, giving a firm handshake, leaning forward when in a conversation, standing straight, speaking slowly and clearly, etc.

Let’s educate our children not to suffer in silence but speak up to defend themselves –

“You can’t say that to me, that’s not appropriate!”

“That’s not cool, I don’t deserve that!”

“No, thanks”

“I don’t want to do that”

5. Celebrate small success

African parents, sometimes, find it difficult to praise their children. This seemingly insignificant error is powerful to impact the children’s self-confidence negatively. A small improvement over past performance should be acknowledged and celebrated. Cheer your children on, help them recognise personal successes and they will do more to surprise and make you and themselves happy. It will cost parents nothing to say something like these:

“The last time you couldn’t read a complete sentence, but you just did. Well done!”

“The last time you didn’t remember to greet, but you just did. Good job!”

“You thought you couldn’t convince your sister yesterday, but you now do. That’s great.”

6. Let’s teach our children to practice gratitude

Teaching our children to say “thank you” to appreciate small favours is vital. Having a bedtime tradition of expressing what they are grateful for, for each day will help them focus on the positive part of life. This small act will renew their strength to face each day with optimism and a renewed strength.

7. Model service and teach them to embrace it

When a family embraces the acts of serving others truthfully without strings, they teach their children that they are capable of impacting others positively. The joy that comes from service radiates over them and touches their core. It gives them sense of purpose and confidence. It will be lovely to support causes around our children’s passion and allow them to lead the cause. Creating the habit of giving away stuffs in the house that are underutilized to others who are less endowed will give them the needed first-hand experience that can create a lasting legacy of strength.

Conclusively, it takes the building of precept upon precepts on a daily basis to inculcate strength-building virtues into our children. The way we live our lives as parents is very important in this building process. Living a “double-faced” life will confuse our children and eventually make them recalcitrant to these life-transforming lessons. May the Lord help us!

Selah!

© SELAH SERIES 2022