Very recently, I felicitated a mentor on her career landmark attainments and I sent a few words to her husband for giving her the peace of mind, motivation, and leadership that enabled her flying career. Then Prof began to talk about how her academic career started on the wings of her husband. Of course, I expressed the same sentiment of gratitude to an aunt on the occasion of our dear uncle and leader being pronounced a professor. The Lord bless them, and every spouse out there who is allowing and supporting his/her spouse to fly. But today, we’ll be looking specifically at women being aided by their husbands.

Compared to their spouses and male colleagues, the career or business exploits of women in marriages follow a different pattern, especially during childbearing ages. This is because the physiological and family cycles and roles take a toll on women in diverse and dynamic ways. As the best case scenario of the most amazing husbands may be, men still don’t menstruate, carry pregnancies, breastfeed or spend time nursing children as much as women do. In typical families, women still do more in the physical and logistic running of the homes than men do.

Amidst these daunting cycles and roles, women are still individuals, professionals, and of course with dreams and aspirations that they too have the right to pursue. Thanks to the self-sacrificing roles of some women in the previous generations, MDGs, and the 21st century’s evolving understanding of exploits that women can achieve. There are now more women in notable capacities - Ellen John Sirleaf, Angela Merkel, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala and of course the long-lasting Queen Elizabeth II. Let’s look at a few and the roles of their husbands.

Justice Ketanji Brown-Jackson is perhaps the worthy face of the female gender so far in 2022. She exemplified everything that a professional (not just a woman) who wants to excel must be and possess. With wittiness, antecedent, temperance, and courage added to a good marriage; she arrived at her destiny. Caveat please, we don’t know what goes on in their living room or bedroom and no marriage is devoid of issues, however slight. But we learnt and many people attested to the fact that her husband was the most solid and ever-present pillar behind her, after her God. That’s it.

Around the time Prince Philip passed away, I posted this on my Facebook page… “Aunty Ngozi Okonjo Iweala is at the pinnacle of any economist's dream career. Her husband is rightfully currently enjoying some privileges, as his reward for not crushing his wife's dreams. Prince Philip earned all these heart-warming global tributes, as his reward for more than 80 years of service to his wife. Yes, 80. He started serving her before they got engaged and before she became the Queen. He more than fulfilled his destiny - whilst serving & supporting. It's so easy to parade around celebrities but forget that they don't emerge very easily. All gems go through rough processes, some rougher than we can believe. Sirs, how are we nurturing the Aunty Ngozi and Queen Elizabeth in our lives and marriages??? Don't feel intimidated by her rising, support her. And, it may be your own best route to destiny.”

Wisdom and timing are central to everything. Justice Ketanji was not heavily pregnant or nursing an infant at the crucial time of her destiny – many women flying in many walks of life have had to master when to slow down (to take care of themselves and their families) and when to double up in making opportunities count. However, a good husband in itself counts for much. Multiple points here: singles should look before leaping; everyone in marriage should put family above everything else, we should know when to slow down in our pursuits and when to double up, and the rising of one member of the family should be considered as the rising of the entire family. Specifically, husbands should help their wives to fly; not cut their wings.

Selah!

© SELAH SERIES 2022