At some point last autumn, after we had heard both ends of a marital dispute, my wife called me with the tone that precedes a discussion that means so much to her, but what she threw at me actually means so much more to God – “Ife mi, we need to do something, start a campaign on how to raise good husbands, just do something.” Many times since last autumn, that passionate brief discussion has severely unsettled me, especially after the death of Sis Osinachi and the new lows of many marriages.

NOBLE husbands and fathers! I deliberately did not tag it Christian or Godly husbands and fathers. Christianity and Godliness entail so much commitment to a walk, a pattern of life, a deliberate and loyal commitment to scriptural ethos. We are aware that not every man in marriage is at that lofty point and many men may not even desire to ever be there. While the Author of marriage intended it for His pleasure (which is embedded in godliness), we know that the enemy has continued to secularise the marital institution. Sadly also, we are aware that there are many people within the fold whose hearts have not been circumcised by God and they too answer to the tag ‘Christians’, despite having not encountered Christ or having drifted away from the faith.

So, the call here is at the basic realm – nobility. There was an era before us when women were not regarded with the utmost respect, love, and care as the scriptures admonish us to. That is not consistent with the 21st century’s level of understanding (both scripturally and secularly) and we can’t afford to relapse into that. But even in those pre-enlightenment days, our forefathers lived with some noble moral codes that forbade insensitivity, infidelity, wife battery, and slothfulness. Marriage and fatherhood are not for adult males, but for noble men.

Above the basic, the type of husband that made it possible for Sarah to follow Abraham out to “the unknown land” and called him lord all her days can’t be wholly understood by the Hebrew culture and Paul’s teachings on submission alone, but by God’s opinion of Abraham. God knew Abraham’s ability to put his home in order, in the fear of God. Such is not possible by mere words but by exemplary lifestyle. “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.”

“AFTER HIM” speaks of a leader and an example – of a father who knows the Lord; not a finger pointer or signpost. “AFTER HIM” is one of the most fundamental problems of our world today. Wandering husbands and fathers are increasing, thus higher rates of single mothers. Worse still, perhaps domestic violence and spousal abuse have never been this bad in recent memory. Fathers are supposed to lead their homes in the ways of the Lord, after themselves, and not just by words or pointing fingers, not away from the Lord, not into social vices and ignoble patterns. Fathers should be worthy friends, examples of responsible and transparent leaders, kind, understanding, temperate, respectful, and the epitome of Christlikeness.

“AFTER HIM” speaks of socially refined, visionary, sacrificial, and emotionally stable fathers shepherding their families after the manner of the Shepherd. It is deliberate that “financially rich” is not listed. Because although making ends meet continues to keep many men away from their children, researchers continue to state that majority of children in commuter homes actually want the physical presence of their fathers more than they cherish extra goodies. Shepherds stay close to the flock. For the next few days, we will be looking at how we can raise noble men; if not for this generation, at least to preserve the generations after us.

Selah!

© SELAH SERIES 2022