Day 12: The wedding vow

“I [Name] take you [Name] to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God, I make this vow.”

In one of the most intriguing conversations I have been part of recently, a granny told us about her son’s brilliance - he is in his mid-30s and had completed two bachelors before deciding to study medicine (the third bachelor’s degree). He is practising as a medical doctor while pursuing postgraduate studies relevant to his second bachelor’s degree. Legend. 

A crucial point that emanated was that youngsters should be allowed and supported to explore as many options as possible till they find their career eureka. However, Granny went further, justifying why people should be understood and accepted if they are changing spouses “now and again.” Oh my God! How did I not faint?

So, let’s start the exploration of the wedding vow from this standpoint - marriage is not an excursion. Yes, life happens, marriages fail, and we don’t have any reason to condemn people who are going/went through marital crises or wreckage. We live to support such people and homes - God helping us. 

But you see, God invented marriage, and that’s why we can only successfully operate marriage according to the Creator’s manual - the Bible. And God did not author marriage to be a sabbatical, temporary contract, or exploration phase. The idea of getting married and see if it works isn’t the intention of God. Marriage, originally, is authored as a “till death do us part” commitment. Don’t dive into marriage if you are not ready for a lifelong commitment. Simple.

Our younger son was gifted a care bear by Claire two years ago. It was so beautiful and succulent that he practically wanted to go everywhere with it, show it to everyone, and sleep with it all night. The care bear became a child: we did naming ceremony, we laid it in bed like a baby, we celebrated its birthday; he would pretend to brush its teeth, feed it, and all sorts of things. The five-year-old boy (at the time) found something to cherish (protect and care for lovingly). Things got to the point that his elder brother became jealous, and we had to get him his care bear. Infectious. 

To “cherish” is a practical aspect of the wedding vow that we don’t emphasise it enough. When I ponder on the word cherish in the wedding vow, I ponder on what Ikore made us go through while cherishing his care bear. And in marriage, we are called unto a lifelong task of cherishing our spouses, no less than the lad cherished his care bear. Not just out of duty and commitment (lest we see it from a work perspective) but out of sincere love and affection. You would listen to, spend quality time with, be open to, sacrifice for, invest in, and satisfy the spouse you dearly cherish.

One vital aspect of an excellent marriage is how it motivates the yet-to-be-married to want to marry right, just like Ikore’s infectious cherishing of his care bear. So, where is your marriage in that (infectious) regard? As we dive deeper into this year’s edition of the Selah Series, please reflect on these bites and work on your marriage. 

© Selah Series 2024