Day 13: The wedding vow - 2

“I [Name] take you [Name] to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy law. In the presence of God, I make this vow.”

Christ told his disciples that there is no greater love than a friend laying his life down for his friends (John 15 vs 13). Such is the love that reconciled humanity unto God. Quite often, I ponder on Jack and Rose (Titanic). In the face of death, Jack deemed himself fortunate to have found a rose (flower) worth shielding with his mortal life, that his safety, comfort and life deliberately became secondary priorities for him, and he died while saving Rose. So, when Paul was writing about how husbands should love their wives, he was practically saying - even unto death. What, then, is marriage without love? And how many marriages feature such depth of love? 

Love transcends spoken words. Love is both a noun and a verb, and much more. Love forgives, does not deceive, seeks and does the best for the other person, aids, is patient, not boastful, generous, partners rather than competes, and is proactive. Is there love in your home? Selah. 

“With this Holy Bible, which is the word of God, I wed you, with my body I honour you, and with all my worldly goods I endow you in the name of God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.”

1 Cor.7.4 - “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife” (KJV). 1 Cor.7.33 - “Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse” (TMB). 

“With my body, I thee honour” is another clause in the wedding vow that I am not sure we teach enough in our Christian folds. Reconcile the above verses and ponder on them. Openly declaring “with my body, I thee honour” attests to careful consideration that you are expected to have done before committing to your spouse. So we come to study sex, romance, and intimacy from the perspective of 1 Cor 7 vs 4, not as marriage prisoners or just doing it out of obligation or reluctantly, instead, with honour - intentionality, totality, yieldedness, and joy. 

Honour is a loaded word. It comes with the best we have to offer. Earlier this year, we had the privilege of hosting a “king.” Oh, we would have cleaned the foundation of the house if we knew how to. You don’t honour a king with filthy plates or wrinkled bedsheets. When my body becomes the object with which I honour my wife, there is so much I need to do to ensure that I am presentable and attractive to her. And one more thing, your body is not your weapon or his/her reward. 

Quality sex and physical intimacy are at the front, left, right, back, and centre of marriage. We will explore sex and intimacy thoroughly later in the week and hold a live intimacy session at 7pm on Saturday, August 17th; please don’t miss it. Sustaining physical attraction is vital. Please don’t be shy about telling your spouse what s/he needs to do to remain very attractive to you. If they are material things, you may buy them or make provisions for him/her to buy them. We cannot continue to be shy with these practical things, forming overspirituality. Plus, you can’t honour each other with your body without spending quality time together. I still wonder what would have been the difference if Adam had been there when the enemy visited Eve.

© Selah Series 2024