Day 18: Seeking Help or Breaking Inwards

We glorify God for the Series thus far, especially for what He has started in many homes this week. Also, we sincerely appreciate everyone who joined the session. Thank you so much for your kind feedback. We hope and pray that you sustain the romantic fire and especially that the fire will permeate every other aspect of your marriage and family life. There was a question about snoring (we apologise for missing that, please), we have now answered you via Slido, ear plugs can help but if it doesn't, please let us know. 

However, we are aware that some homes might still not be gelling. Let’s go for a quick walk.

One morning, our car wouldn’t start. I suspect it had to be a battery problem. There were cars around that could help us to jump start with their cars. But we didn’t have the cable to connect our battery to theirs. We had to do the long thing - call the breakdown assistance of our insurance provider. The mechanic said the battery was still good and wouldn’t know why that happened. We got sorted but lost significant time and couldn’t meet the morning’s targets. About a year later, we had the same problem. This time, we had the cable, happy days. But we had two options - call the insurance provider’s breakdown or ask our next-door neighbours for help. We couldn’t have asked God for a better neighbour, and the low fence between us was designed to allow for jumping across, so no hesitating if we needed their help. Of course, they did, and happily so. 

Imagine we didn’t have a car insurance policy that contained a breakdown assistance add-on. We wouldn’t only have lost time, but we would also have had to endure avoidable hardship. Imagine if we had the cable at the first experience. We wouldn’t have lost time at all. Imagine if we hadn’t been blessed by such wonderful neighbours or if we had maintained a strained relationship with them. We would have lost significant time, at least. Imagine if we had been too proud, shy, or private to seek help from our happy-to-help neighbours. We would have been without help right amidst help

Marriage is more central to a home than the battery is to a car. Protracted marital discords put a cloud of sadness and bitterness over the entire house, constitute a heavy weight around your waists (if not your necks), limit your progress in almost all works of life, and impact your children’s joy and overall stability. The dynasty is grounded, like when our car’s battery stopped working. And worse, your relationship with God and services are affected, too. 

I keep learning from the encounter of the widow of Zarephath. Her relational skills were vital for her breakthrough. In this 21st century, we are daily in the situation of the widow of Zarephath - we need people now more than ever. Leveraging, connection and networking are helpful for marriages. Your neighbours, colleagues, relatives, friends, and fellowships are all relevant to your family life. Many marital issues can be picked up, informally discussed and settled at this level, depending on your close relationship. 

Just as it is mandatory in the developed world that every car on the road should have an insurance policy, we recommend that each couple agree on mentors or, at least, accountability partners to whom they are mutually accountable. Breakdowns do happen in marriages. Sometimes, a few minutes of conversation is all you require to jump-start; without that jump-starting, you remain grounded in avoidable or easy-to-fix crises. A woman once quizzed me - “How do you sort complicated issues this easily and promptly?” it’s simple: sometimes people only need a fair referee. If, after having done everything well to address your issues, you are still unable to resolve the issues, then please hold a meeting with an accountability partner or mentor, whichever you both agree upon.

© Selah Series 2024