For every parent, the opportunity to, under God, raise a responsible child, teenager and adult is perhaps the noblest task God can commit to humanity. Need I reiterate that parents in this exploration aren’t limited to biological parents? You know that. Incidentally, years do fly. And the sucklings would soon become teenagers. Please, take part in their development, grow with them, and build lasting relationships with each of them.
Our first child wanted to walk before crawling, to run before mastering how to walk. So, we fell many times. My professional background and experience did not help me in those circumstances. I panicked terribly with each fall that it would take a few minutes for me to recover - the lad would have fallen a few more times. But should I stop the boy from attaining developmental milestones because I love him so dearly? Later, I learned the drill - safety and safeguarding could ensure that falls don’t lead to avoidable emergencies.
Overprotection remains an issue for many parents. In the course of not wanting your little ones to get hurt, you also need to ensure that you don’t prevent them from GROWING. A child is like an egg. If you are carefree, it breaks. If you are too careful, you break the egg too. Balance is the code.
Back to the teabag; if you love a teabag so much that you don’t allow it to dwell a while in the boiled water, you are directly preventing it from fulfilling its destiny. Although the boiled water softened the carrot and hardened an egg, the teabag blossoms in boiled water IF not left too long or unattended. Every great destiny would pass through challenging tunnels; although some tunnels are so long and dark, our role is to guide, guard and safeguard them.
Effective communication, friendship, correction, encouragement, praise, constructive criticism, prayers, exemplary lives and mentoring are some of the vital assets for parenting. Similarly, communicating with or to a child may require the parent to kneel to maintain eye-level contact with the child instead of talking over him/her.
The playgrounds are full of happy memories. But also memories of rising and falling. The architectural layout of playgrounds is done in such a way that prepares for crashing, collision, falling and so on without or minimising injuries. A child insisted she wanted to sleep on the top bunk, and the parents allowed her but ensured a reliable crash mattress was ready to receive a flying bee. The smartest thing they did wasn’t to let their daughter test herself on the bunk but to prepare safety and safeguarding measures should she fall off.
Yes, other children use the bunk, and they don’t fall. But that is not enough to prevent your child from falling off the bunk. Some injuries are preventable. It is the same thing with their school grades. While you want the best for them, out of them and want them to be the best, be careful not to crush them. Instead, let each child be his or her best.
What should be detested is a child coasting below his/her best. If a child has the capacity to attain 88%, then 80% isn’t good enough. But if that child’s capacity is 60%, or 50% or 40% - okay too. The parents of such a child should work together on how to scale up without damaging his/her mental health, self-esteem and self-confidence.
Again, this process gulps time - patience and parents must be deliberate. Parenting goes beyond provisions. Many of the reasons a child struggles academically can be spotted on the playground and treated peaceably. Don’t always wear a serious face; smiles.
©️ SELAH SERIES 2023
