It is every couple’s prayer to have children after marriage. Often times, the community and church do not prepare to-be and newly married couples for the challenges of childbearing years. We are all left to face these realities on our own.  

Pregnancy is unique to every woman and no two pregnancies are the same. It brings different modes and shades of challenges. Some women have it smooth and some may have to be admitted in the hospital for most of the pregnancy period, while some are just in between these two extremes.  Pregnancy, active child bearing and rearing periods can create strain and stress on the health and relationships of moms and dads. Somehow, we don’t always expect this, but here lies the reality. It is essential that new parents are supported and looked after by extended family members, churches and work colleagues.

Couples must acknowledge the stress that comes with childbearing and rearing and must plan on how to navigate these challenges, some of which include;

✅Lack of sleep, tiredness and fatigue

✅Stress caused by trying to juggle child minding, work, relationships, and other obligations

✅Difficulty spending time with one another

✅Conflicts over parenting style

✅Financial challenges

✅Intimacy issues

✅Lack of support

✅Loss of ‘me’ time

It is not surprisingly that childcare stress has a greater impact on mothers as they take on the lion's share of childcare in most marriages. Juggling childcare with other roles in her life can be challenging. It would be beneficial to intentionally put some structures in place to prevent physical, emotional, mental and social burnout and breakdown. It is our duty to protect our lives and health so we can have the physical and emotional stamina to do what needs to be done.

You understand your body system more than anyone else. Do not be intimated to pull out for a few hours to catch your breath, say no to more social, religious, or work commitments, and turn down requests that could impact your time and health negatively. Give a shout out to trusted family members, friends, neighbours, and if need be, hire help to give you the time to relax, pray or spend time with your husband. Find ways to minimize social stress such as comparing or competing with other mothers or families. Get enough sleep, even if it means asking a trusted friend, neighbour, or a relative to watch your kids so you can take a nap. Eat balanced and nutritious meals, set aside sometime for yourself, whenever possible, to pursue hobbies, interests, exercises, or rest.

It is also important to focus on your frame of mind by savouring positive experiences, focusing on gratitude, remembering that difficult times are not forever, meditating on ways in which your kids have enriched your life. Please, be patient with yourself, your partner, and your kids and embrace family fun times.

Lastly, it could be helpful to maintain friendships with other families and stay close with your family.

© SELAH SERIES 2023