Marriage for Christians is a voluntary submission of a man and a woman to unite as husband and wife in conformity with traditional, spiritual, and legal standards. In some cases, it could simply be just either of the traditional or spiritual or legal standard under the fear of God. Living in marriage for Christians is expected to be governed by Biblical instructions and include Genesis 2:24-25 and Ephesians 5:21-33. The plan of God in marriage is to get the two-in-one couple stronger in life and exploits than they can ever be as individuals (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). When two people become one in God’s plan, the purpose in the heart of God is that they become: settled and stable in companionship to confront life; established and focused on purpose; blessed and fruitful in all things. Marriage launches a person into real life and it is supposed to be the most intimate and great relationship on earth.

However, globally, marriage – a relationship institution, containing just two key partners has remained the most challenging platform to manage and enjoy. Generally, many people have problems in marriage for so many reasons, among which are: foundational medical incompatibility; shallow knowledge of what marriage demands; weak relational skills; lack of readiness to make the required sacrifice; and disrespect for biblical instructions on the marital relationship, among others. For these aforementioned problems, many have divorced and become single after marriage with many associated challenges. These are self-created problems that you can read about and prevent in common books on marriage.

The subject matter of this article is not general and common problems but storms in marriage. From the natural perspective, storms are violent disturbances in form of strong winds, rains, thunder, lightning, and snow from the atmosphere under which people live. Thus, inhabitants of a geographical location don’t create storms, but it comes by the nature of the atmospheric condition of a location and may not be predictable. Given the forgone explanation, in marriage, storms are strange unanticipated challenges that suddenly appear with devastating effects, and over which the couple may have no control. Storms come against marriage with great shock that only God’s power can moderate. For instance, I am aware of some homes that have gone through storms in the form of accidents leading to amputation. In some other contexts, storms have manifested in the form of unanticipated terminal disease or sudden termination of appointments in quick succession by couples with so many economic responsibilities on the ground.

To be more specific, in my own case, I got married at the age of 31 as a mature Christian in 1993. The choice of who to marry was preceded by several years of personal prayers to the Lord and with strong determination to do the will of God. Also, note that God answered my prayers as I got married to a God-fearing, quiet, thoughtful, beautiful, and intelligent lady, who was 27 years old at the time. We both resolved to build a peaceful and godly home that is ministry compliant with excellent career lives in the picture. We set out as lecturers in our career pursuits and were serving as functional ministers of God with unmistakable impact on the lives of people around us and the church of God. As we grew in the marriage, we were blessed with two kids, who are, as at the time of writing this article, 27 and 21 years of age. When we turned about 13 years in that marriage, my wife complained of a lump in the breast. I calmed her and suggested we visit a colleague and brother in the Lord, who happened to be a renowned medical practitioner in a teaching hospital in Nigeria.

From the visit, our friend recommended that we appear at the appropriate clinic. In line with his recommendation, we visited the clinic, and to cut the story short, that is how we spent more than four years in and out of a key Teaching Hospital in Nigeria, managing cancer of the breast. I can’t begin to write here about monetary commitment, because I can remember that as at that time, there was a particular chemotherapy drug that I buy every three weeks at the cost of #110,000. What about the hellish quality of hospital services or disappearance of brethrens' support system because of fear of visiting cancer ward. It was a great storm in my marital experience.

Despite all the efforts, a rare jewel, and my beloved wife went to be with the Lord. Precisely, she died at around 9.15 pm on the 21st of February 2010, the eve of my 48th birthday. So we woke up on the 22nd, on my birthday into serious mourning. I can still remember hymns like, “there is not a friend like the lonely Jesus” and others that we had to be singing to place my faith in the Lord. The strange development was a very difficult problem to confront. I was blank and I remembered that I instructed a close brother to bring many copies of Sacred Songs and Solo from which we were singing.

Important notes are that: storm can appear in marriage despite great prayer life and godly living; when in the storm, you are most likely to be alone with God; storms create complexity in family finance and relationship that requires inner strength to sort out; storms can position you for shameful and strange questioning among people who are supposed to support you; storms in marriage often bring setbacks and can open your life and home’s door to unworthy people. The marital storm can be so devastating and can swallow destiny if the victim is not strong enough in God to take the right physical and spiritual stand. Always remember that in this world, we can see tribulation but we are instructed to be of good cheer because our Saviour has overcome the world. May the Lord deliver us from strange storms of life in the name of Jesus.

Selah