Firstly, helpmeet, as defined in the book of Gen. 2:18, is a suitable helper, a companion (MSV).

God also observed that without the woman, the life of the man is not likely to be good, which makes Prov. 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord” (NKJV) more relevant in this regard.

Theologians make us understand that the word helpmeet (helper) that is used in Gen 2:18 comes from the Hebrew word ‘Ezer’ which is a combination of two roots which mean “to rescue or save” and “strength or power”. They observed that this word is used to describe women two times but describe God sixteen times. From this, it can be deduced that women have the innate potential to succeed in this ministry. We have been called to;

Rescue our husbands,

Add flavour to their lives,

Support them,

Encourage them,

Be a healthy companion,

Influence his life positively to be what God intends for his life etc.

If we as women have all these at the back of our minds, we will discover that excelling will be much easier.

All that is required for us is to;

Accept the role of helpmeet as a God designated role,

Not look at it as an inferior position,

Have an understanding that we are created to serve alongside men i.e., both of us are important stakeholders in our relationship.

Also, if we look at the book of Judges 4:5-14, there was a woman named Deborah, the wife of Lappidoth. It was recorded that;

She was a wife (helpmeet),

She was a military leader and a judge (career woman),

She was a prophetess.

She excelled in all her duties. She judged well and God granted Israel victory during her tenure.

What were her approaches?

She was courageous (Judges 4:7).

She had faith (Judge 4:14).

How do we relate these traits to our time?

A helpmeet that wants to succeed in her chosen career must be full of courage. There may be a thousand and one reasons why you think it is not achievable but you must forge ahead. Also, she must have faith in God that He has equipped her with material for excellence; and she must have faith in herself – that she is capable.

In addition to the above;

She must be ready to delegate some duties e.g., house chores etc,

She must be ready to share her burdens with her spouse,

She must be able to prioritise,

She must be clear about her core values and purpose.

There are women that have made important contributions in different professions e.g., academics, medicine, corporations, engineering etc.

From personal experience, to excel, a career wife must;

Be focused,

Trust in God,

Be determined,

Include her other half in the journey,

Not be discouraged,

Accept help and supports from others. No one is an island.

Effective coping skills that I personally employ are;

Multitasking.

Diligence and Resilience.

Being your own cheerleader.

Prioritisation.

On a practical note, as a woman, I have internalised my biblical role as my husband’s destiny helper and have gone ahead to discover my God-given ministry in advancing God’s kingdom. There is neither conflict nor competition in this regard as both of us play complementary roles in advancing the kingdom of God. While he is busy at his own calling, I am also using my God-given gifts to complement his efforts as there is more than enough room in the kingdom to manifest and use one’s gifts.

At the home front, teamwork and partnership are very key to stable family life. I have come to the unflinching conviction that of a truth, two are better than one. The Creator knew that birds would struggle flying with only a feather as there cannot really be an enduring fulfillment, hence He instituted marriage.

There has also been a mutually infectious driving force towards career advancement. Even if one party tends to be complacent, the other becomes a kinetic force gingering the other out of slumber. This has been true of my family experience. We have both been beneficiaries of the biblical saying, Iron sharpens iron. I can say boldly, every woman is a reflection of the husband’s vision and vice versa both in life and ministry.

Mrs. Yinka Olaluwoye

'Lekan Agunbiade adds – The concept of helpmeet used to be interpreted in the past by many as the deputy or the servant or the babysitter or cook/chef and many other degrading terms. Fast forward to the present day and thanks to the MDGs (now SDGs), there are many homes where the wives are the breadwinners or high earners. Are those breadwinner wives still helpmeets too?

I know a very senior university professor who is a deacon (from Greek diakonos, meaning “helper”) in the church and he is so excited about his ministry duty post. Not a few times, I have been beneficiary of his helping ministry, but that has not made him a lesser professor or reduced his lofty elite and social statuses. Moreover, should the President of the nation then overthrow the Priest and be the boss at the national thanksgiving services?

Many years ago, we used to be close to a family who I can regard as the richest family I ever came close to during my childhood. They are both high-profile elites in their respective fields. Opportunities happened in quick successions in the wife's job and she became the regional boss of one of Nigeria's greatest institutions at the time. She had official foreign trips and holidays, moving homes, official cars changed too frequently, domestic personnel and secretaries, and very many other benefits. But, the boss woman had the body language, words, and charisma of putting her husband in charge. The examples from this woman remain in my head till today of how someone can soar high in life and yet remain humble to one's spouse and less highly placed relatives, friends, and church brethren. Her example is not just for wives.

Marriages will be more beautiful when each of us accepts our ministry and build one another up. Men should bear in mind that we can't go farther than our helpmeets can. So, if you see women as slaves, you are only the chief slave, not slave master. Empowering women is therefore empowering helpers, and our families and societies can only be better for it.

Selah

© Selah Series 2021