The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labour, labour in vain.

In this 21st century, it takes the grace of God and great determination to yield to God’s counsel and the way in building a good Christian home. No wonder the Bible says in Prov.3 verse 7, Be not wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

Our present world is full of evil, more than we have experienced or seen years back. These evils in the 21st century have encroached into the church and many believers now see them as usual norms.

Proverbs 3 vs. 19-21 talks about how the Lord laid the earth’s foundation by wisdom and by understanding establishing the heavens. A wise woman can thus be related to a woman who knows the Lord and has an understanding of God’s plans and purposes for her life and her home. She has knowledge of who God is and desires to please God in ALL things.

Few years back, our family was passing through some financial struggles, during this time, the family was sustained with one source of regular income which was my monthly salary. It takes the grace of God and unwavering determination to do God’s will in keeping a happy home during this kind of situation. In many similar contexts, once a woman becomes the breadwinner of the family; it takes much greater submission for the woman to sustain the peace of her home.

During this period of financial instability, we were able to acquire more than two plots of land in our names as a couple because of my foresight and the opportunity of getting the plots of land for the family at that time. Sincerely, it was not easy getting my husband to agree in getting the plots of land but through God’s intervention, the plots were purchased.

When I look back and ruminate on how God had helped my family, I will always say Great is His Faithfulness. Summarizing my events of getting a job outside Nigeria, it was not easy without my husband's consent. Whenever the matter of getting a job outside the country comes up and I sensed we were not on the same page, I didn’t push the issue. I have always learned to pray and wait on God. Here we are today “Lines are falling unto us in pleasant places “.

Our breakthrough did not happen on our relocation process until my husband agreed on the issue of my job hunt outside Nigeria. Harmony in the home is very important in recording successes and raising godly children. The spiritual atmosphere in the home should not be too tense whereby the family will not be able to discern what God is saying at a particular time.

The wise woman builds her house in the place of prayer, knows and understands the plan and purpose of God concerning her home. Patterning one’s home according to the dictates and affairs of the society can be detrimental.

Mrs. L. A.

'Lekan Agunbiade adds – A relevant story involving a dearly beloved big sister in the faith also fits this discourse, so perfectly. I got the kind permission of Mrs. W to share this.

She is happily married to her darling friend. Their union offers a more relaxing, informal, and friendship version of marriage. All of the tense atmosphere that one sees in many homes are absent in this marriage and while we are aware that they have their differences and do disagree, the respect and love they share are very obvious to all of us around them.

In this story, we are looking at one of their most striking differences and how the wife built her home.

Mr. W. is more traveled and thus possesses higher taste when it comes to many family projects and tasks. Building their house had been long overdue and they practically lacked nothing. For some years, they were wealthy tenants, for which the wife was not comfortable. They are both from socioeconomically comfortable backgrounds but while Mrs. W. was happy to start small, her husband wouldn't settle down for properties in less elite estates or a less magnificent house. And, although they could afford landed properties or buy a second house in the best estates around them, plots did not come to the property markets from such mature estates or it was a single plot (too small to accommodate his dream palace) or plots with family disputes, or houses with one issue or the other. We were waiting for the right specs for few years, and they never came together. Scarce.

Then one day, Mrs. W called me and begged that we should keep a healthy secret. Without saying anything bad about her husband or their marriage, she made me see how his very high taste may be hindering few equally beautiful testimonies. She didn't mince words – I was to focus on how their family will buy the landed property and build their house in any good estate within the city, not necessarily in the choicest estates that we had been exploring, and not necessarily a 5 – star hotel. She gave me sufficient reasons that I ended up feeling guilty for their remaining as tenants, and she was right. So, prayerfully, we began to explore other areas of the city and God made it successful.

Then again, Mrs. W called me someday and wondered what manner of men we were who start life by building compound and not a(many) house(s) . She emphasized the wisdom of starting small. Fast forward to today, they live happily in their own home and she did not have to battle it out with her husband whose lofty visions and passions are equally to ensure that their family is blossoming in the full context of God's great grace upon them. The wise woman in this context did not only figuratively build her house, but also, literarily.

Selah

© Selah Series 2021