The Lord be glorified for this memorable journey. Thanks to everyone who followed all through, including those who caught up or will catch up. The 21st century is busy enough and to be committed to a daily process is a massive commitment from you, we do not take that for granted. Many thanks to the authors and our very helpful bosses/friends who helped as administrators. For us, it has been a great privilege to share, learn, unlearn and relearn.

Please, I urge you by the mercies of God, to implement whatever struck a chord in your peculiar case. The ultimate goal is for each home to grow together and be well positioned for God's divine purposes for them. Looking ourselves in the mirror has to be towards making amends where necessary and reinforce whatever we are currently doing right. There are areas of our own marriage too that are already enjoying new and improved approaches, we all are works in progresses.

Let's go to today's business - MARRIAGE IS LIKE DRIVING

You see, it does not matter what position you hold in the ministry, or how long you have been married, or how very educated you are. In building a successful marriage, these don't really matter. If you don't have some essential skills which serve as effective and efficient pillars for a happy home; your home will stumble.

Sometimes you are surprised to know that some socially high profile marriages don't last while many less privileged folks remain happy in their marriages. The terms and conditions don't respect our social class systems.

Marriage is like driving.

Getting home safe and alive does not only depend on you, there are cyclists, motorcyclists, pedestrians, other motorists and so on which we can apply here as in-laws, children, friends, church, neighbours colleagues and so on. But because you are the driver of your own marriage, you have a lot to decide, so we'll be looking at your roles. In a big family, there will be many drivers in charge of many power steerings. There are habits you bring into marriage or that you inculcate along your journey which may be tantamount to a literal driver steering into oncoming traffic - bang!! Crash.

For every crash, the wear and tear on the car worsens. The car has dents (scars), some cars go off the road completely. Even you the driver, may lose some confidence, incur penalty points and for some, their licence may be revoked. Worse still, some drivers die at the scenes or later, as a result of car crashes. Just apply everything to marriage.

Don't drink and drive.

When you are drunk, you are more likely to lose control and thus becomes a threat to other road users. In marriages, many people are drunk with ego, ambitions, businesses, money, public images and social status such that they are losing control of their wheels. When you are intoxicated with any of these things, it will not be unexpected if your spouse, children, in-laws and other dear people in your life suddenly become people you can throw anything at.

During my nursing school days, I can recall a confused (intoxicated) patient who called his father in-law by his first name. In Yoruba culture, there is no worse crime. He lost control. What is the alcohol in your marriage's driving history??

Don't answer calls while driving

Purely, this is about concentration. Many things happen so fast and 2 seconds off concentration can be as devastating as jeopardising lives. In your marriage, please concentrate. Pay attention to every detail and take nothing for granted. When you cease adoring and celebrating your spouse, you are looking away from the road and you may crash. Make time for honeymoon renewals, holidays and just keep your gaze on this beautiful road that God has brought you to travel on. Stop the phone call to extra marital affairs, bitterness, unforgiveness and other factors. If you nurse this marriage, you will be surprised at how beautiful your prospects are. Concentrate here.

Don't overspeed

Speed itself is very good. My driving instructor always rebuked me for being naive with speed. I was doing 60km/hr on a road that permits 100km/hr. Fata Fata, my Irish retired soldier turned driving instructor would jokingly yell at me. That's good on some roads. However, there are phases in your family's life that requires you to go so slow, some will actually need you to come to a stop and fix the issues. If you are doing highway's speed in areas of your marriage that require keen attention and patience, you will end up killing many people, especially the children. And you know how faulty marriages make children vulnerable in many ways.

It is very important to make progresses in our businesses and careers, but each person in marriage must be able to understand and apply themselves to their marital contexts. A friend of mine is in postgraduate education, few prospering international businesses, ministry is booming, has 3 beautiful children, is employed in a busy academic path and involved in many simultaneous investment and charitable projects. Of course, something has to give way, you can't cheat on some principles. Too many times, we are running fast to destinations such that we may end up ruining destinies in the marriage. Don't forget, the road in the context of marriage is slippery and brake grip may be less effective on high speed. Please don't crash your marriage.

Have your discs in date and ready

The police stopped me few days ago, I drove confidently to the check point. Alas, my tax disc was out of date. I had paid, a month before the last one expired and I was sure that I displayed the disc, such that I almost started arguing with the police. I was wrong. The disc was paid for but not displayed.

In your marriage, conflicts will arise, the enemy may orchestrate some crisis situations, ill health may happen, financial lack and issues, just many things. On those days, will you have discs intact? Will the enemy's crises agenda meet with existing bitterness in your marriage or a united home? Toothbrush and toothpaste scattering a marriage is more about the iceberg principle; acute on long term chronic marital organ failures. Such that, as immaterial as toothpaste might just push the home over the edge. Crash.

Is your home built on God? Do you have His insurance cover, His words and commission for your union? When side chicks and deceptive men knock on the door of your marriage - and they will, will they meet a solid home or a vulnerable spouse waiting to just breathe again, breathing into adultery.

Keep to your lane

Marriage is so interesting when each person involved knows his/her lane. On major highways, there are enough obvious markings and demarcation on the lanes, whereas in the estate, there are usually no markings, yet we still have to keep to lanes. In your marriage, you have to understand each other and have some clear roles and responsibilities, decided by the strengths and weaknesses; profession and vocation; time mechanics of everyone involved.

You can overlap in a synchronised team approach, just keep your marital journey progressing. In addition, you should know the temperament differences in your home and apply them as much as possible. Patience, tolerance, anticipation and prompt restoration to normalcy should be your watchwords. Don't let the enemy sit on your petty quarrels.

Service your car

Cars are designed to be serviced periodically and so is your marriage. Few years ago, I was chasing one of our mentors for an accountability session. She was so busy and tired of my persistence that she asked - "Lekan, are there issues you want us to look at?" My answer then, is the approach we follow today - "No ma, just periodic check so that there won't be issues". Don't wait for your car to break down, the periodic checks are cheaper and more productive for the sweetness of your marriage. You will have issues, all marriages do, we all do. Forgiveness and tolerance should be your primary servicing oils.

And when you need to seek help, please don't hesitate to. Your marriage having issues doesn't mean you are incompetent, and is not a reproach; not fixing your issues may be worse than reproach.

One more thing, please look after your literal bodies. Eat right and eat healthy. Stay fit, and remember that dead bodies are no longer married - the vow is "till death do us part". If you want your marriage to last, then remember that you both have to last. Take care of yourselves. Seek medical help if you need to. Everyone above the age of 50 who otherwise have no health concerns should go for medical screening at least, yearly. Those who have background health concerns will require more. We service cars but forget ourselves, that has to change.

Pay attention to security

You know the expensive investment that has gone into this marriage. Please be security conscious. In the place of prayer, secure your home in the hands of God. The family that prays together do stay together. And I don't mean ritualistic prayers where the couples don't see eye to eye after the family altar. Secure your home in open, constant, constructive and effective communication. Secure your home with some memorable sex and unassailable intimacy.

In marriage, our experiences will differ and no two marriages will play out the same way. Know your marriage and do your best, as though preventing accidents will be down to your roles alone.

In case of accidents

I urge you by the mercies of God to commit everything you can, to ensure that your home prospers, and not crash. Just as with cars, crashes happen in marriages too. The victims of car accidents are removed from the accident scenes in another car. Funny, isn't it?

Will your marriage be the avenue that God will partner with in rescuing homes in crises?

If you are reading this and your home is going through some bad times, please will you let go and let God?? Will you? Will you bring the rubbles of the crashed home to God in prayers and in unity of purpose? God is the Panel beater and you will be amazed at the beautiful brand new marriage that the Producer will make, out of this marriage that you think it's good for nothing.

He breathes life into lifelessness - because He is Life. He breathes hope into hopelessness - because He is Hope. He leads the wanderers and vagabonds back to safe destinies - because He is the Way.

You are going for divorce or separation?? Okay. You can't kill a dead body, it's dead anyways. But will you try Life? Will you dare to delay the funeral of that marriage? Will you bring the dead marriage to God? You have nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Will you let God delve into that hopeless situation and like the mother of Jesus told the men at the wedding in Cana of Galilee - "whatever He says to you, do it".

Once again, many thanks for making SELAH SERIES 2020 a memorable journey. If Christ has not come, we will be here for the 12th edition in August 2021.

May the grace of the Lord be with you and may He cause His face to shine upon you and yours, in Jesus name. Amen.

Affectionately yours, Titilayo and 'Lekan Agunbiade, on behalf of the amazing people in the SELAH SERIES team.

Have a beautiful week and a prosperous September.

© SELAH SERIES 2020