Gen.2.24 - Therefore shall a man (woman) leave his (her) father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife (her husband): and they shall be one flesh.

I have decided to add gender balance to the verse by the bracket terms because I have seen a few women who said that leaving and cleaving is only a man’s duty. There is no worse way to misunderstand the scriptures. And premised on this faulty interpretation, such women endanger their homes by third-party interferences, especially their background families.

The Creator founded the marital institution on this very straightforward injunction - leave all others (including your beloved parents, siblings and friends), be happily and without any secret united with your newly found better half and cleave unto him or her until death shall do you part. Before the arch enemy entered the equation, this leave-united-cleave sequence was the Master’s blueprint for successful marriages. The adulterations and contamination that have continued to evolve since Chapter Three of Genesis have led to the chaotic state that many marriages are in today. 

When Jesus told His disciples to let their dead parents bury themselves and carry His cross and follow Him, He reiterated the kind of commitment that marriage entails. Given that He is the Groom and the Church that He bought with His life is His bride, Christ was only reminding His bride - leave your folks, unite with me and cleave unto me. It is little wonder that Paul would later employ Christ and His Church to describe the nature of commitment required for a marriage to excel. A husband loving his wife in a knight-fight martyr manner - “unto the death” and a wife yielding up her essence in unrestrained allegiance to her husband can only be possible where both parties have said and meant their GOODBYES to everyone representing the third party. 

Was Jesus asking His apostles to disown their extended family literally? Of course, no. That He remembered and sorted out His mother while He was on the cross - despite all that He was going through at the time, is an example to us of how we are supposed to be responsible for our parents’ well-being. However, by asking His disciple to cleave to Him and His cross, He meant they were supposed to trade everything else to align with their newfound eternal relationship - no double dating or cheating. 

But then, who represents the third party? Everyone else outside the man and the woman? No. I have no copyright to the answer - Holy Spirit does. A Christian marriage is built on God-Christ-Holy Spirit. The Godhead forms the first party. The Source of the two people coming into the marriage, the Inventor of the marital institution and the Sustainer of them who diligently seek Him, is the first party in the Christian home. The second party comprises the single and indivisible entity formed by the leaving-uniting-cleaving. Remember, the latter part of verse 24 of Genesis 2 says that the two shall become one flesh. Although dwelling in two mortal bodies, they are one flesh, one fold. This understanding helps us to understand Paul’s teaching on how a husband maltreating his wife can only be borne out of insanity - for no sane man hurts himself. The two “IS” one and forms the second party in the marriage. Brethren, Satan is the third party. Yes, you read that right; Satan is the third party. 

How about our biological parents, siblings, mentors, pastors, the marriage committee, marriage counsellors and friends? Everyone helping you to sync with the agenda of God for your marriage and whose sole intention is for your home to prosper is on the Lord’s side, on your side. Such individuals serve as links between your marriage and God’s original plan. Whoever does otherwise, regardless of their places in ministry, society or family closeness, is with a third party - the enemy. So, how can a Christian counsellor advise anyone in marriage to consider separation or divorce? We will resume to unpack that tomorrow. 

©️ SELAH SERIES 2023