One of the most incredible honours the Lord can bestow on any individual is to represent Him in sustaining the landmarks of such a dear institution as marriage is to God. If you want to know how important marriage is to God, just ponder on everything the enemy has continued to invent to steal (trivialise, adulterate), kill (truncating the Master’ masterplan) and destroy the marital institution. So, it is such an honour that we don’t take lightly. However, I have struggled for so long to comprehend, diagnose and prayerfully fix some marital disputes.
What do we do if the madman of Gadarene were to be married and have children? He was hurting himself, and it would not have been a surprise if he was hurting his wife and children more severely. Would we be sane to insist that the woman is married until “death do them part” when we know that untimely may be the manner of death lying in wait? So, where safeguarding human life, physical, emotional and mental health becomes doubtful in a marriage, separation becomes a lifesaving idea.
The author of the hymnal ROCK OF AGES CLEFT FOR ME certainly got the inspiration from the Holy Spirit. The yieldedness, submission and bonding involved in cleaving is an invasive procedure permeating one’s entire being—no corners, no secrets and no holding back. There we go. How about marriages where a party or both parties never left, never united, never cleft? In such situations, the faith, health and life of the one who has left everything else to cleave become endangered and worsen over time. What do we do when all the signs become evident that a spouse never left their parents, siblings, mentors, pastors, friends, unhealthy values, cultures, ideology or lifestyle, who have become third parties? Do we have a safeguarding responsibility, or should they be condemned unto untimely death for choosing to marry someone who hasn’t honestly left, bonded or cleft?
Where there are children, godly parenting becomes the joint highest responsibility of the man and woman in a marriage, especially in the light of the satanic endtime agenda that have continued to enjoy hearing and approval in many global platforms - schools, media, and so on. Godly and effective parenting has become a more urgent and essential responsibility for every parent. The best approach to parenting is living as noble examples - being an ideal model for youngsters to emulate and transform into. God had this in mind when He spoke about Abraham ordering his house “after him”. When any marital dispute defies constructive interventions of well-meaning people and degenerates to the point that the home becomes a toxic arena for the children, when either or both parents become a destructive influence on the raising of responsible children, or when the children become direct weapons or victims of marital warfare - then there is unquantifiable nobility in temporary or permanent separation. However, this should not be hastily done, lest we grant the enemy an in-route to our fold.
Everything that can be done should be done to salvage a marriage, including marriages where a person or both persons in the marriage never left, bonded or cleft in the first place. There is no wonder that prayerful and constructive intervention cannot do. But, when everything tried has failed and we appear to be losing one or both spouses or especially a child or children, then we should be brave enough to make bold calls. It is not the intention of God that anyone will live hell, bitterness and afflictions in their marriages. This nonsense of marriages becoming death traps for some Christians in toxic marriages has to stop. God doesn’t love divorce but doesn’t hate the divorcee. We cannot emphasise enough that our unmarried brethren should look before they leap. The red flags are often there - if only we carefully and prayerfully watch out.
©️ SELAH SERIES 2023