No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Cor 10:12-13

Going by divine design, mature, great, purposeful, and impactful lives are raised through the right responses to practical challenges of life. We are made to grow by our exposure to life's toughest realities. However, what is meant to grow or shape us often bring the destruction of great destinies because of human rigidity and unpreparedness to learn, unlearn and relearn from things that befall us. In the context of Christianity and biblical truth, there is no challenge, no accident, no strange experience, or a trial that is not common to man. Therefore, in any situation, rather than breaking down, always ask God to teach you what to do.

The relevance of restarting marital life in hope often arises when an established marriage is challenged by irreconcilable differences, sickness, death, and other troubles that bring a previously married person back into single life. To the ordinary mind, when a marital relationship fails, fear rules in respect to the possibility of getting it right on a second attempt. To some extremists, remarrying is not godly under any circumstance. However, restarting in hope is about restarting in faith and recognizing that with God, all things (including marital bliss and joy) are possible. Restarting in hope is about accepting that failure is a lesson in the hand of the One who makes a way where there seems to be no way. You do not have to commit suicide or lapse into depression if your marriage has crashed or you suddenly become single as a result of factors beyond your power. What the Bible teaches is that we should humble ourselves before the Lord and approach Him in faith to lift us out of our mess (James 4:10; I Peter 5:6).

First, to restart in hope, you must begin in spirit and truth, from deep and unsparing self-examination and reflections to establish what you need to do differently to avoid ending up in another marital mess. Reflection and self-examination positively impact when a person can meditatively ask frank questions such as: how did I contribute to my setback in marriage? Where did I open the door to strangers or the devil? Did I misuse the opportunities I had in my previous marriage? Did I work hard as I should to make things work? Your future happiness in marriage will fundamentally hinge on how honestly you treat these questions. As the saying goes, “history repeats himself because we fail to learn from history”.

Secondly, restarting in hope requires heartfelt prayers to God for specific help and direction to get the choice of partner right. In this case, quality time is required in God’s presence for proper framing of your desire to be in line with God’s plan. Investment of time in a quiet and meditative prayer relationship with God usually predisposes a person to unusual revelations, boldness, and faith to confront difficult decisions.

An important factor that you have to ponder upon is “are you ready for the restart?” How soon or how long vary from one person to another and depends on how you have deliberately handled the first two steps above.

Thirdly, practical steps to remarry have to be taken without fear, and in faith. This involves an active search for a partner by personal effort and through the assistance of genuine people of God around your life. In other words, a person intending to restart must take responsibility to discover the kind of partner required on the normal traffic lane of life. However, don't be desperate and don't let people throw pity parties around you. As much as possible, live your life beautifully and daily celebrate the hope the lies ahead of you – even if you can't see it clearly yet. Excellent human relations, service in God's vineyard and to humanity (in your work, society, or volunteer opportunities) will help to engage your mind constructively and position you to socialize appropriately.

Furthermore, it is important to recognize that you will not marry an angel. Therefore, minimize your conditions and expectations because you are not an angel yourself. Marriage is a matter of the future and it is only God that holds the future. Your worry about the matter will add no value. Therefore, trust in the Lord. Having said that, it is necessary to add that you should allow ample time to court, run background checks and get to know the person, and be sure that you are NOT venturing into unequal yoking. Where practicable, dating sites and matchmaking outlets may be useful, but we enjoin Christians to yield all decisions to the leading of the Holy Spirit.

Depending on the age of your children, please carry them along and be very patient in the process. Reassure them that they will still retain their lofty and wonderful spaces in your heart and make them see how your remarriage will benefit them as well. As much as possible, don't make the mistake of floating your children to the new (prospective) spouse as the most important factor in your life. When God and marital happiness are the two highest priorities in any marriage, your blended children will not have much, if anything to worry about.

Lastly, this is new. It is not a continuation of the past. The new spouse will be entirely different from your past experience, be careful and wise in handling his/her peculiarities, and don't be afraid to seek his/her help in calling your attention to any unexpected or exaggerated reactions from you. In addition, this new testament hasn't wiped out the old testament – your blended family (children), in-laws, properties and few other relationships from your previous marriage will still remain vital connection points between your former and the new marriages. You need great transparency, love, maturity, wisdom, and ONENESS to manage all these. However, if any of these begin to connote lingering issues or battles, please be brave to let go, where possible. Dare to enjoy this restart. Your spouse and blended children must see that you prioritize the happiness of your new marriage above all else.

These are not easy routes to navigate and no bachelor or spinster goes into marriage wanting to go travel this route at some point in their future. However, for those who have to go this route, the Lord's help is ever-present and ever sure. Be encouraged.

Selah