We thank God for continued grace unto SELAH SERIES as the Series has continued to deal with contemporary issues over the years under the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

Today, I would like to start by saying that there are no ‘perfect’ marriages because neither you nor your spouse is perfect; we all have our strengths and weaknesses. However, almost every couple on social media is ‘perfect’. This is because all human beings always tend to put forward their best foot. We generally like to hide our vulnerabilities but showcase our strengths. Magazines and ads are good examples. 

Also, wanting to ‘feel among’; share stories; compete with other people; ‘pepper them’; or trends make many people share ‘perfect’ stories as if the bed of roses have no thorns. At the same time, however, the need to stay positive is the motivating factor for some. Unfortunately, a lot of people have thrown away the beautiful spouse, fiance, fiancée/marriage that God gave them because of some social media facades. 

Don’t we all love Roses? Aren’t they lovely? But have you taken a moment to think about getting Rose Flowers? How easy is it to pick Roses without getting pricked? How often do we realise that the beautiful rose flower has ‘thorns’? I like to emphasise that just as ‘every rose has its thorn(s)’, so do the social media beautiful, edited, filtered pictures and portraits. The person on the front cover of that magazine isn’t as flawless as s/he looks. That short ad is a product of many days of filming and editing - nothing in it is as real or perfect as in everyday life. I can assure you that if you become a mentee or an apprentice or an observer in homes you wish you have or the relationships you think of or see (especially on social media) as blameless - you would find out that they all have things they ‘struggle’ with. 

We need to move away from a place of dissatisfaction to a place of contentment and gratitude. We should begin to appreciate the spouse God gave us, celebrate their uniqueness and work together on areas where we need to develop. Life is a bed of roses with so many thorns. In actual fact, the thorns also help us to appreciate the importance and beauty of roses. 

As we close this discourse, let’s look at a different perspective of the meaning of the above expression. The thorns in roses actually serve the purpose of protection and self-preservation. Can we henceforth be intentional about protecting our relationship and our spouses by making choices that will positively impact our marriages? Can we stop the competition and the comparison? Can we stop wishing for the grass that we think is greener at the other end and focus on the good gift God has given us? 

Okay - we all (almost always) want more than we currently have. It is a natural thing. In today’s discourse, what are the thorns in your relationship/marriage? They represent opportunities for you to evolve, to grow. Those imperfections are rooms for improvements. The thorns are the rate-limiting steps on our way to beautiful, successful and happily ever after destinations - the roses. So it’s up to us - our mindset; either we stopped to pluck roses due to thorns or compete with thorns to get beautiful roses out of our marriages. I admonish us all to preserve our marriages and pray that God will keep our homes in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Mrs. Feyikemi Popoola.

©️ SELAH SERIES 2023