Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks on earth and you cannot do it part-time. Despite all the arduous efforts, some children still don't turn out as their parents desire. However, if we want to enjoy them and have a peaceful end, we must sacrifice a lot to train and bring them up in the ways of the Lord. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it".

Children are great blessings from God, whether biological or not, and whether spiritual or physical. If God has graciously entrusted children into your custody, then you should take care of them, give them secular and spiritual education; and train them through as many life's situations as God shall lead you through. It is only children that are trained that can become useful to themselves, their families, the church of Christ, and the society.

It is good to desire the best for our family, especially for our children, but it must be within our means. Many parents these days are busy working in order to earn more money. Due to the rising cost of living, they have to work harder to make ends meet. Some do two or three jobs and businesses. Many people in civil service these days also have (chains of) businesses they run. Many rarely have time to rest or go on leave. To increase family income, both parents will work and sometimes in different cities and nowadays, even different countries.

Many homes have been shattered due to this and then how do we expect the children from such homes to be? Since both parents are not available for their children, they sometimes send them to the grandparents or employ nannies who they will be spending all their earnings on, who can never be the parent and who may even become a wrong influence to these young and innocent ones.

Many parents put themselves in situations where they constantly have to worry about money because they have chosen not to cut their coats according to their available materials. They compare themselves with others and thereby put themselves in financial mess. Put your children in schools that you can afford. Rent a house that you can afford. Don’t buy a car when you cannot manage it. You don’t have to participate in every socials. Buy good and durable clothes instead of flashy and expensive ones that can rarely be reused.

Another essential thing needed is prayers. Prayers to build them up in the Lord and sustain them as they go about their evolvement in these perilous days.

Effective training of children involves time. Time to stay with them, discuss with them, teach them a lot of things and rub off part of ourselves on to them. The child would likely behave like the person s/he relates with the most. Though money is very important, but it is not the main or only thing needed to train your children. We must find time to be with them. Time is the most important collateral in parenting.

Many parents, in their pursuit of money, they tend to forget that they have another crucial role to play, which is to educate and train their children. May God not let us regret over our children. Ecclesiastes 6:3 says "if a man beget an hundred children, and live many years, so that the days of his years be many, and his soul be not filled with good, and also that he have no burial; I say, that an untimely birth is better than he". Like the verse above says, it is better for a parent to have been aborted than to have a useless child. Proverbs 23:24 says "the father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begotten a wise child shall have joy of him". Proverbs 10:1 echoes it again saying "a wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is a sorrow to his mother" (BBE).

Therefore, we must never be too busy as to neglect our children.

In our family, despite the very busy nature of our works, we make sure we find time for the children. Initially my wife has to slow down her academic pursuits for the family so as to raise them up. We never used live in hired nannies and they only attend crèche/baby centers briefly, and for short periods before they started schooling. All throughout their schooling days, we also make sure that we are the ones who take them to school and also collect them home. The times spent together in the car are also used to relate more with them and not just to play music or listen to radio. We also did not send them to boarding schools because of this, i.e. to have more time with them, ensure they learn house chores - including cooking, attend church, to be involved in church services/units and also to pick up interest in some arts. When they were younger, the whole family would travel together, whether within the country or outside the country. This, we still do on some weekends.

In conclusion, when you, as the parent are at home, be really at home. As much as possible, leave work in the office and rarely work at home. Even when you work at home, it must be after you have attended to the needs of your family, help your children with homework and settle them for the night.

When at home, relate more with your spouse and children, and spend less time on the phone, TV, and computers. Avoid being addicted to the social media. Plus, please don’t do everything for the children. Let them appreciate work and be proud of it. They will stumble initially, it is part of the learning process. Also let them appreciate the value of money and to develop saving culture.

Credit: Many thanks to Pastor (Prof.) Edward Komolafe for writing today's piece. There are many families whose hands-on exemplary parenting form a good references for us. But, the Komolafes rank among the greatest examples that I can tell, largely because of their busy medical specialties. Pastor is a consultant neurosurgeon (the ONLY one in OAUTHC & OAU), covering surgeries in and outside Osun State. Aunty (Prof Keji Komolafe) is a consultant neurologist (the ONLY one in OAUTHC & OAU). Funny, they are active in the Nigerian Medical Association affairs. They are both top class in commitment to Kingdom works. Yet, we observed the parenting measures shared above, hence the reason we ran to them to kindly guide many of us who are just starting out. May the Lord bless your home and prosper your children, sir and ma. It might encourage you to know sir, that at two people (Titilayo and myself) have been watching you from a "view distance", and for a long time sir. We are perpetually challenged and trust God to help us.

Good morning and have a fruitful day.

© SELAH SERIES 2020