A school of thought believes that marriage should be enjoyed and not endured. Another school of thought believes that there are times in marriage when one will have to endure the challenges of life and other unexpected circumstances. But the truth is that marriage is a blend of both. Seeing that marriage is a subset of life, and there are ups and downs, wearing a positive outlook on life will keep us going and help us not to give up. 

Marriage will be enjoyed (although not with the exclusion of challenges) when you marry the right person, become the right person, involve the right person, have the proper understanding of marriage, and have the right motive for marrying. It just has to be right; otherwise, you’d have an unpalatable experience. Although getting everything right doesn’t guarantee a smooth marital experience, but it places you in a vantage position relative to those who got it all wrong because if the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do? When the chips are down, endure it with your partner, and when things become rosy, enjoy it. Life is seasonal; no phase is permanent.

Nonetheless, you should have more enjoyable seasons in marriage than endurance, but it comes with a price. Challenges are inevitable. It could be due to health challenges, spiritual attacks, in-laws, job loss, bereavement or even the weaknesses of one’s spouse. Challenges notwithstanding, marriage will be enjoyed when the two that make up a marriage are willing to make it work. But how can marriage be enjoyed when one party leaves the other to face the challenges alone? Don’t leave your partner, especially in the fire. 

In their wisdom, Yoruba people assert that one hand cannot get a load to the head. With two hands, a load can be carried easily without bearing the weight alone. Someone reading this have left his/her spouse to fight the battle in your marriage alone. Remember the vows you made before God and God’s people. If Adam and Eve were together, perhaps the serpent wouldn’t have prevailed over her. Remember, woe to the one that is alone. How can one prevail against the enemy in marriage? And, dear singles, prayerfully do everything you can to get it right maritally. The beauty of marriage is premised on getting it right. 

Elisabeth and Zechariah were serving God despite their barrenness. What do you think would have happened if it were to be in this 21st century that they were infertile? Yet, they never left each other, and God came through for them. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. Still, this option lies in who you marry, who you have become, and your disposition to challenges when they come - because, unfortunately, challenges do come.

When times are hard, face it together. When things get rosy, enjoy it together. Enjoy it together when her breasts sag or when he becomes less potent than the man you used to know. The grass is greener on the other side only because it is watered and all other circumstances work together for good. How about you get a watering can and prayerfully start a steady watering of your marriage too? 

And if you must fight in your marriage, fight against flesh and Satan, but not with your spouse. Remember, enduring or enjoying marriage depends on who you marry, who you have become, the principles you adopt, the person you involve, and your motive for marrying. You will endure your marriage if all or any of these are not right.

Pastor Benson Adekunle

©️ SELAH SERIES 2023