What are the support systems and networks around you? We can rarely be better than our support systems. However, the good and supportive people around you may not know what you are going through or the extent of your sorrows until you trust them enough and speak to them. You are thinking about how treacherous this world has become? There are still loads of good people out there; prayerfully discover the ones in your life, and treasure them. Young couples and every marriage going through crisis needs depths that good support systems offer. We were there on multiple occasions.

Your coping mechanism is another area that you may want to review. The tea bag, carrot and egg all went through the boiling water but with contrasting outcomes. Let your boiling water situations soften your heart, lead to brokenness and make you malleable in the Potter's hands; let your faith be strengthened and your resolve to serve the Lord hardened, and let the beauty and flavour that the Creator has graciously endowed you with, emanate as you bath through the afflictions. Build healthy coping mechanisms. Seek the intervention of therapist if you need to. It is unfortunate that people leave this vital option out altogether.

Some years ago, at the lowest ebb of my life (lost 2 lives within 2 days), being so weak, utterly devastated and my wife in tough shape, the first thing I did was to retreat from the thorough processes involved in the professional breakthroughs that God had just started to take me through. Then a big friend and mentor of mine told me that I could dedicate this "First African participant" testimony to the memory of the departed souls, but that he had never seen anyone dedicate missed opportunities to the departed. Bingo! It happened, thank God. Certainly not because I was smart, but for the wonderful people God surrounded us with.

Earlier this year, two days after I paid non-refundable tuition for my third simultaneous postgraduate program, God called my father home. Yeah, he wasn't young. But for many private reasons, I was devastated beyond measures and thought of pulling out of 2 of the courses in order to deal with the issues on my table, money being the least of them. But again, God raised an army of good people around me and I completed my courses with excellent grades, including an A in the exam that I wrote less than 48 hours after Papa's funeral. Amazing support systems.

One more; in 2021, I appeared to have missed a few excellent economic opportunities in quick successions and the veteran involved told me bluntly - you are going to regret this. His words that should have destroyed me rather chased me to The Father who always has the final say. And of course Daddy showed up in ways that veterans still cannot comprehend. When He shows up, economic and market analyses falters. He can do much more for you. Whatever you have lost, God is yet your Gain and Reward, if you will let Him.

The restart button will depend on what crises you have been through, or going through. But ensure that you don't stay knocked down. Rise. How do you rise through a terrible diagnosis? Live each waking day to the fullest, enjoy your family, avail of all treatment options recommended by healthcare specialists and keep faith in God that all will be well, even if through the shadows of death. If possible, widows and widowers can and should remarry. It may be hard to teach your heart to love again, but it is not impossible. Spouses coming from broken marriages can and should rise above the rubble; forgive, learn, let go and move on. People who lost their jobs or businesses are still able to excel in other jobs and new businesses. Accrue some relevant skills, you may volunteer in relevant roles while waiting for the new job, leverage on mentoring opportunities and package yourself for your market.

Another thing is the courage to take stock. After a distasteful or crisis experience, we may be so devastated or hurt or emotional that we just want to forget everything that happened. While that may be okay in some cases, it is not always the right coping mechanism. Debriefing is a culture that everyone and every couple should master. Some honest and incisive reflections or evaluations can halt or slow down the despairing situation around you. If we don't know why and where we get it wrong, the chances are high for us to keep failing; and that's not because God's hands are no longer mighty to save. Sometimes ago, a friend kept lamenting that ladies are only answering YES to rich guys, I told him of many rich ladies I know who are open to guys with substances/prospects. So, projecting isn't always helpful - take stock of yourself.

Poverty is endemic in some parts of the world, partly because of the patterns that people have been afraid to confront and expunge. Some avoidable or treatable health problems have left many in crises because they entrusted themselves into the care of unorthodox healthcare specialists. The bottle of plain water from your church can function alongside your prescribed meds and you can save yourself avoidable complications. It is amazing how God has so much entrusted some of our fate into our own hands. Be wary of how you use your liberty.

Lastly, people don't look like what they have been through or are going through, beautiful. However, it is a call to each of us to be careful in how we treat people. Be very kind. No, I don't mean that you be naive or become a puppet in the hands of many crafty and cunning people out there, but do your best not to be the reason someone or a couple is pushed off their edge.

Selah!

© SELAH SERIES 2022